Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
