Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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