I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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