I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
