It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
