batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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