Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
