we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
