Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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