I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize