bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
bring money and cleavage
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
