I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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