he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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