Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
