I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
