I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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