Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
