i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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