I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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