ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
