Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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