can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
