This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize