Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
