A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize