What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
