you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
