we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
