I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We need a shit load of segways right now
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
