dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize