Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
