There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
