OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
