We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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