my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
