I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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