They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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