..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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