I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
