Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
