11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You're a waste of cheezeits
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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