why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
