Duck Duck Cougar?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
