If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
