bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So much rum. So many feels.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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