Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
