Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
