I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize