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i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
