I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
