yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
