i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
