He told me they were just razor bumps!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
