Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
