A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do vagina's smell?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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