I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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