dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
