I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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