I want to stick my p in your. b.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
