Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
