Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
