My room smells like vodka and shame
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
