Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
