I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
