I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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