No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
