I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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