You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Porn is love you can see.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
