apparently the secret to your success is patron
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
