Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
