great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Everclear isn't food dammit
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
