Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
