I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize