the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize