Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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