Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize