He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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