He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize