Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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